This is the third post on navigating mid-career. Read the first post on finding (and keeping) focus here: Navigating mid career: Focus

and the second post on creating space to think here: Navigating mid career: Headspace 

Looking after yourself

In many coaching conversations I’ve had it feels like there is a third ‘person’ in the room – a vocal, insistent and sometimes frankly vicious inner critic. Often conversations turn to exploring with clients how they can be kinder to themselves so that the inner critic voice is not so dominant.  

This is where developing self-compassion can be really transformative.  

Kristen Neff, one of the leading voices in self-compassion, sums it up as: 

Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with your failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect? 

She offers some great resources: Exploring the Meaning of Self-Compassion and Its Importance 

Have you noticed that we often talk to ourselves in a way we would never talk to a friend who came to us with the dilemma or challenge we are facing. Next time, ask yourself: “What would I say to a good friend?” 

In mid-career, we are often juggling so many responsibilities, and feeling spread so thinly, that we don’t feel like we are doing a good job of anything. Being harsh with ourselves doesn’t help! 

Treating ourselves with kindness

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On this topic, I really enjoyed reading Radical Acceptance, by Tara Brach. She writes beautifully (and practically!) about accepting ourselves, being gentle with our self-doubt and treating ourselves with kindness.  I have a favourite meditation from what Tara offers – the RAIN practice – which is a tool for bringing mindfulness and compassion to emotional difficulty.  RAIN stands for: 

• • Recognize what is going on 
  • Allow the experience to be there, just as it is 
  • Investigate with interest and care 
  • Nurture with self-compassion. 

You can read more about it, and find a recording for a guided practice at: Blog – RAIN: A Practice of Radical Compassion – Tara Brach 

Coaching during mid-career

I coach women who want to feel the joy (again!) in their work. Maybe… 

• You are looking for support to meet a particular challenge in your current role. 

• You have fallen out of love with what you do and want to find your spark again, or you are considering a change and exploring new possibilities. 

• You are leading a team and looking for support to co-create a positive and empowering team culture. 

If you’d like a chat to explore how coaching might resource you, get in touch. 

Book time with me: https://calendly.com/laura-jarque-cockram/30min 

Email: hello@laura-cockram.co.uk 

This post is based on a presentation for Flexible Working Scotland. Thank you to FWS for the opportunity to share as part of their webinar series https://events.humanitix.com/host/flexibleworkingscotland